93. welcome to my messy mother's day: a dead mother, alcoholism & pure love

I grew up with an intense fear of losing my mom. The fear had a grip on me tighter than I realized. Her validation was all I needed in life. I grew up to become successful--earning a masters degree in forensic science and becoming an investigator which is what I had set out to do. She was so proud. I took on a hobby of photography which quickly became a small business.  She loved my photography--she was my  biggest fan.  Everything I did in life, I did for her pride and validation. Then, she died.  My source of self worth was ripped from my world and I was lost.  In the two years since my mom died, I've experienced the intense realization that pride comes from within. It sounds cliche--something everybody knows, right? But I gained a very clear understanding of what it meant to be 'okay' with myself.  Losing my mom was equally the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. It is an experience I feel every single day.  And I vow to not let the negative overpower the positive.  She wouldn't have wanted that.  But more importantly, neither do I. More of my story at: https://www.instagram.com/p/CL__PgQFLZA/?igshid=15w9e4npciqw9 @kate.b.photo Please go to www.deathdialogues.net to learn more about our project & find us on Instagram & FB. This podcast is available on most platforms. We’d love for you to subscribe & leave your comments. 🖤 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/deathdialogues/message