Claudia Crase is a mom who was comfortable entertaining life’s big questions with her kids And, for her, this interview feels like a snapshot of what it’s like to process the biggest question yet that her family has faced.
"Pursued by darkness" really resonates with me, as that was also Grant's experience. I believe these kids were created with more open receptors to the Human Condition, seeing suffering and inequity more strongly than others.
Also, the interaction with the mental health professional who perhaps could have handled the interaction differently - Grant went to see his counselor one day, but she was out, so he saw a very young and presumably new practitioner instead. Grant must have answered a question or 2 "wrong," because the next thing we knew, he was strapped to a gurney and being taken to the hospital on a 5150 psych hold. From that day forward he refused to talk to a mental health professional. The trust was broken. I don't doubt that the therapist did the "right thing," but I wonder if his road may have been different if someone had listened differently or with more patience and wisdom.
What a gift and a burden it must be to have had these conversations with Tanner. I don't know that Grant wanted to die - he told us he didn't - but we also know he suffered. Grant used to call overdosing "diet suicide," so maybe he pushed that envelope with some level of acceptance of what might follow. Unlike Tanner, Grant wouldn't readily talk to us about his deeper struggles, so there's so much we don't know.
We have made progress on letting Grant go, knowing that he suffered so much and now that suffering is gone. Yes, I also wish he had found relief, but we also knew that would most likely always elude him in this life.
Appreciate this insight into your experience, the overlaps & differences with Claudia’s. Both tragic. Having worked in the field, I’ve witnessed some major f-ups and biases that were beyond neglectful; indeed damaging. In a perfect world each person seeking any type of medical intervention would have an advocate assigned to them to help them run interference in the system and look out for their best interest. It’s a maze of mind-fuck for so many. Most I’d venture. Sending love and light to you and Karen.
"Pursued by darkness" really resonates with me, as that was also Grant's experience. I believe these kids were created with more open receptors to the Human Condition, seeing suffering and inequity more strongly than others.
Also, the interaction with the mental health professional who perhaps could have handled the interaction differently - Grant went to see his counselor one day, but she was out, so he saw a very young and presumably new practitioner instead. Grant must have answered a question or 2 "wrong," because the next thing we knew, he was strapped to a gurney and being taken to the hospital on a 5150 psych hold. From that day forward he refused to talk to a mental health professional. The trust was broken. I don't doubt that the therapist did the "right thing," but I wonder if his road may have been different if someone had listened differently or with more patience and wisdom.
What a gift and a burden it must be to have had these conversations with Tanner. I don't know that Grant wanted to die - he told us he didn't - but we also know he suffered. Grant used to call overdosing "diet suicide," so maybe he pushed that envelope with some level of acceptance of what might follow. Unlike Tanner, Grant wouldn't readily talk to us about his deeper struggles, so there's so much we don't know.
We have made progress on letting Grant go, knowing that he suffered so much and now that suffering is gone. Yes, I also wish he had found relief, but we also knew that would most likely always elude him in this life.
Appreciate this insight into your experience, the overlaps & differences with Claudia’s. Both tragic. Having worked in the field, I’ve witnessed some major f-ups and biases that were beyond neglectful; indeed damaging. In a perfect world each person seeking any type of medical intervention would have an advocate assigned to them to help them run interference in the system and look out for their best interest. It’s a maze of mind-fuck for so many. Most I’d venture. Sending love and light to you and Karen.